remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
