i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Randomize
