i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
it was like having sex with a tree stump
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Randomize
