Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
