well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
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