Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
