Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
