i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
