chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Randomize
