Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
