john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
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