just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
