he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Randomize
