this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
