don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize
