you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Randomize
