How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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