i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize