So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
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