Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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