How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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