I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
