it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
