and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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