I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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