He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
