the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
