Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
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