6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
where does the pee come out of this thing
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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