Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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