I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
