dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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