if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
We named our party play list daddy issues
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Randomize
