I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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