I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
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