You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Say something about gay babies.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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