Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
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