Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
