Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I have already put on my inside pants.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize