There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
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