sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
