So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize