also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
