You're completely useless in the revolution.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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