I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
