I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
