do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
