I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Randomize
