She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
