Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
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