Bisexual people are plain selfish.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
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