just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
She's just so happy...and so naked.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
