Nicole vs. Life
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Randomize
