Hey man sorry I got all grabby
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
