ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
