I wanna bring you to show and tell
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
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