My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
