I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
