i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
