shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
